Created to Be His Help Meet Chapter 1 (and how I blew it)

“A good marriage like anything worthwhile, takes doing the right things every day…..every hour….every moment.”
I learned this yet again first hand this week. Or rather, I demonstrated the opposite of this statement unfortunately. Thankfully I’m not the one teaching you all these things, I’m just going along with you. Which is good because I very obviously need to be going through this book again!
 Because boy, oh boy, did I blow it this week!
Thursday was a bad day. One of those days were you wake up to find Dr. Jekyll has been replaced with Mr. Hyde. Every little thing was getting to me, I was snapping at Amber about things I normally smile about. Then when I was puppy sitting the dumb dog kept biting Amber and knocking her down and making her cry….grrrr…
As soon as I get home from that I walk in the door to see hubby is home.
“I submitted my e-resume” He tells me.
“Oh good, finally some good news!” I think. “What did you put down as your top 2 choices?” I ask aloud.
“Galveston, TX and Savannah, GA.”
GEORGIA???? Are you out of your mind?!” *insert various other rantings*
About 30 minutes later:
Me coming back meekly after hubby storms off,
“I’m sorry, I know you must have a good reason for picking those. I’m better.” Once he finds that I am better he explains why he picked those (best job that he could be with us as a family the most) Then he shows me the rest of the list.
I look….no Hawaii….in fact none of my places are in the top 20. Instead I see all Texas and Florida.
“FLORIDA?????!!!!” *insert many more rantings and naggings and general discontent*
Yupp….I blew it.
Should he have discussed the e-resume with me before he submitted it or considered the fact that I’m absolutely sick of the heat, the humidity, being far, far away from home and the East Coast in general? Or perhaps the fact I’ve mentioned several times that I don’t even want to ever visit Florida? Well, yes.
Should I have acted like a spoiled rotten little 5 year old who didn’t get her way and stomps her feet?
Absolutely not.
I will add that I ate many pieces of humble pie that night and sincerely and entirely made up with him. So all is good between Bob and Nicole in the Elliott household.
I’m still not any happier about the whole situation, but trying very hard to leave it in God’s hands, and to realize it is really stupid and selfish of me to dread moving to places that most people would die to visit on vacation.
Marriage is hard, hard work. Often your spouse will do things that will make you want to lose your minds. As help meets we’re required to respond correctly no matter what they do though. In a situation like this I should have carefully listened to why he chose where he did before I started ranting. Even though I don’t agree with his decisions it’s my job to submit to him as the head of the household and trust that he has our families best intentions at heart.
“There is no loss of dignity in subordination when it serves a higher purpose. God made you to be a help meet to your husband so you can bolster him, making him more productive and efficient at whatever he chooses to do. You are not on the board of directors with an equal vote. You have no authority to set the agenda. But if he can trust you, he will make you his closest advisor, his confidante, his press secretary, his head of state, his vice-president, his ambassador, his public relations expert, maybe even his speech writer–all at his discretion.”
It is my sincere hope and prayer that God will use this book and even my marriage to help and bless you all. Even if that means me telling you what not to do. As I said, I’m most certainly not perfect and have a long ways to go. But I am trying….I’m apologizing, and I’m sincerely hoping and praying that when I do find out where we get stationed I will respond graciously…
…with no feet stomping.
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  1. says

    Nicole, thanks so much for being so honest and sharing a part of your life with us.

    All of us have our moments. I know I’ve had MANY days where I wish I would have responded in a more positive way to my husband. What’s important is that we are always aware of our mistakes and eager to do what it takes to change our minds and hearts.

    Thanks for sharing your heart!

  2. says

    No one person can make a marriage. It takes both husband and wife working constantly together. Add God to the mix and you will make it. There will always be ups and downs but you learn to handle them with grace in time.
    This book really sounds like a great one for couples to read.
    Sounds like you and your husband have a great marriage and with God to advise you will make it a long and wonderful one,.

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