Post-Abortive Healing: Guest Post
While this subject is often off-limits for most people, I am going to post about it anyway.
Here’s why: studies tell us that 1 in 3 women have had an abortion. This number would imply that at least a few of the people coming to this blog (even for the virtual baby shower) have undergone an abortion procedure. In fact, according to abortion records, a large number of women seeking abortions check the boxes labeled “Protestant” and “Catholic.”
If you’d like to understand a portion of my background regarding the matters of abortion, please click here.
Let me make mention: If you are not someone who regrets your choice, you can stop reading now.
—–> This post is directed at the women who may partake in any of the follow:
- Watch children at the park and wonder, “Would my child have looked like that?”
- Hear a child laugh in public and think, “Would my child have laughed that way?”
- See abortion billboards on the road and cringe from the pain of remembrance – from the smells, the regret and the heart ache.
- Drive by a Planned Parenthood facility and feel their stomach tighten up in knots.
- Felt another baby growing inside them and prayed, “Please forgive me, Lord. I didn’t trust you to take care of my needs back then. I gave up too quickly.”
- Have wondered what their family dynamic might be like if they had gone through with bringing the ‘lost’ child into this world.
- Feel as though the legacy of their life should have included one more human being…one more sibling for their other offspring to grow up with…one more photo for the family album…
- Wake up in the middle of the night after having a nightmare of that day…that one day…the day they made that CHOICE.
- Know that our God is a God of life (“I have come that they may have life, and that they may have it more abundantly.” – John 10:10) and realize now that their choice did, in fact, end a life – designed by the Creator Himself.
If that’s you – please keep reading.
—–> I often hear people say of pro-lifers: “But it’s legal! It’s a LEGAL procedure! Why do you hate women so much that you’d take that away from them?”
Here is my response:
Owning Black people as slaves used to be legal, too. Everything Hitler did in Germany was completely legal. Drunk driving kills thousands of people every year – yet drinking is legal. Just because something is legal does not make it RIGHT or JUST. It’s okay to understand that “legal” does not = automatically okay. It’s okay to analyze the situation more deeply than that. It’s okay to believe that a woman’s real strength lies in her ability to locate the resources she needs (source: Feminists for Life).
For those of you who have been convicted of your legal choice (to abort) by the Holy Spirit, you understand what I am saying. You know now that abortion is the ultimate exploitation of women. The desire to make money trumps truth. A beating heart is pushed aside and a lack of trust in God’s ability to meet the mother’s needs takes over. A dark political agenda is seen as a more valuable promotion than a child’s existence.
—–> This is the religion of our culture: if it’s not what you had planned, do away with it. Babies. Marriage. Friendships. Jobs. Whatever.
Individualism, rather than Collectivism, rules our nation. In the meantime, hearts are broken. You may be reading this right now, feeling as though your heart is one of the broken ones…
You most likely made your choice to abort for one of the following reasons:
- Your parents were not supportive
- You wanted to hide the fact that you were having sex in the first place
- Your boyfriend (or even husband) was not supportive
- You were raped (on average, less than 2% of abortions happen for this reason. According to LifeNews.org, 74% of rape victims wish they had been supported in a choice to keep the baby…rather than abort)
- You were in college and didn’t want a baby to slow you down or hold you back; you viewed a career path as more valuable than a family legacy path
- You were told by Planned Parenthood (or another abortion business) that your baby didn’t have a heartbeat or was nothing more than a “mass of tissue”
- Someone convinced you that just because you had a right to exercise a choice to abort, you should follow through on that choice, damn the life-long heart consequences
- A friend of yours, who’d had an abortion in the past, encouraged you to have one, also (attempting to make her own heart feel better by having you join her in that choice)
- A female friend of yours encouraged you to do it, even though she would never do it herself
- You didn’t realize that every town has a group of people, willing to help women in un-planned pregnancy situations, free of charge (pregnancy centers)
- You did not trust God to take care of your needs, through any and every trial, as He promises to do (Matthew 6: 25-34)
So now what? The Bible makes it clear that God wants a relationship with us. He wants us to draw near to Him and to feel safe, loved, accepted and hopeful of the future He has planned for us:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
This means: You need to let go of the guilt you feel, as best you can.
Your heart will most likely never forget what happened or the choice you made; but you need to learn from it. You need to realize that the God you serve is a loving, forgiving Father. He wants what is best for you. He would have happily helped you raise your child and would have met your needs if you had called out to Him for that reason (Luke 11:9). You know that now. You accept that and you have likely cried out to Him on many occasions, asking that He forgive you.
He does forgive you. He wants your heart to be at peace and your life to be a fulfillment of His plan. He wants your choice to somehow bring glory to Him – possibly through your testimony and the sharing of your story (1 Peter 4:11).
Many post-abortive women (and men) find comfort and/or healing in the following ways:
- A weekend retreat with Rachel’s Vineyard
- Joining the movement (and numerous celebrities) at Feminists for Life
- Sharing their stories with Silent No More
- Naming the baby and paying tribute in some personal way
- Blogging about their experience and openly sharing about the wound that was caused
- Volunteering at a local Pregnancy Center, helping other women to feel empowered in their choice for Life and their drive to find the resources needed to help them on their journey
- Celebrating the birthday of the lost baby each year
- Free post-abortive counseling at their local pregnancy center
- Sharing their story at a women’s group or teen seminar
“To be at one with God is to be at peace … peace is to be found only within, and unless one finds it there he will never find it at all. Peace lies not in the external world. It lies within one’s own soul.” – Ralph Waldo Trine
You might also be interested in the following links:
Exposing Planned Parenthood: Blood Money trailer (documentary)
Goodness and Mercy: My truth about abortion. Former Britney Spears back-up singer writes about her choice to abort two babies…and the healing she later found through Christ
State of the art in-womb videos (share these with folks who question the validity of a baby’s development, inside the womb)
*Shara Lawrence-Weiss has a background in early childhood, education, nanny work, freelance, marketing and special needs. She has interviewed numerous post-abortive women over the last ten years to learn about their choice, their regret and their quest for healing.