First of all I just wanted to apologize for the unexpected break in this study! I know I don’t have a ton of ladies following along, but for those of you who were I hope I didn’t lose you by not posting in it for a few months! As you all know, it’s been just a little insane around here! I don’t expect that will change anytime soon with the baby coming in just a month, but want to try to resume this if I can!!! 🙂
For those of you who have started following since the last time I posted this here’s a link to the last study and my “full disclaimer” on the book (short version = you’ll either LOVE it or HATE it). If you’d like to catch all the way up and read all the previous studies since the introduction just click here!
“Marriage between a man and a woman is what God chose as the closest example of Christ’s relationship to his bride, the Church. You are part of eternity when you submit to your husband…Your marriage to your husband is preparing you for your marriage to Christ.”
I just love that statement! As she points out in this chapter later on, “obedience, submission, and reverence are all acts of the will and are not based on feelings. Showing deference toward one’s husband is an act of reverence toward the God who placed you in that role” I think this is so important to remember in day to day life!!! You don’t respect or honor your husband because he deserves it (because often he doesn’t) but because GOD deserves it.
Just like we as wives often do or say things that are not very lovable, hubbies are bound to be complete knuckle heads at times! When they are it gives us a wonderful chance to honor God by being respectful and submissive! My very favorite quote from this chapter is this one:
“The difference between a good marriage and a lousy one is not found in good husbands and good wives versus bad husbands and wives, for all marriages are made up of two sinners with lots of faults. A good marriage is good because one or both of them have learned to overlook the other’s faults, to love the other as he or she is and not attempt to change the other or bring him or her to repentance.”
Such a powerful and true statement!!! In this day and age of dime-a-dozen divorces the quick and easy fix to a faulty, hard marriage is simply to end it when things get rocky. What these people don’t seem to realize until 3 marriages later is that there really isn’t such a thing as a “good husband or wife” exactly how it says above! And those who say the otherwise simply are already practicing the above statement to and with their spouse, perhaps without even realizing it! A perfect example of this is my amazing best friend. She has an absolutely wonderful marriage and just doesn’t understand how people everywhere aren’t amazingly in love and she always says that marriage is not work, it’s just fun. Most people would say that she obviously just lucked out and has the perfect husband (which is what she declares to everyone any and all the time even 5 years into her marriage). Since I know both of them so well, however, I realize that actually isn’t the case. Her husband is a human just like any other human and a man just like any other man (lol) and he has many quirks and habits that would drive most women (including myself!!!) absolutely batty. Instead of allowing these things to drive her batty though when I point them out to her she always replies that they’re “just cute” because they’re “so him”–and she actually believes it!!! Because of this amazing mindset and how she adores and respects and honors her husband he does the same to her and they have one of the closest and most wonderful marriages I’ve ever seen. They never got out of that “twitterpated stage” everyone goes through when they first fall in love where they willingly and easily overlook any and all flaws and think the other person is perfect. If only we could all get into this mindset how much happier we would all be!!!
My Dad recently sent me a quote from Abraham Lincoln that says ” people are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be”. I think this is so true! I realize that circumstances do dictate feelings, but as she points out in this chapter, how you think and how you make your mind up to feel will dictate your feelings. If you’re constantly harping about your hubbies faults (whether out loud or just inside) of course he’s going to seem rotten and you’ll be miserable. If you’re focusing on the best inside and out you’re bound to be happy. I mean look at what a handsome good provider you’re married to! And he even put the lid down on the toilet today! (see what I mean?)
When I read the stories of the women in this chapter who chose to revere their lousy husbands instead of ditching their sorry butts I just shake my head in amazement! Most of us are so much more blessed than we can possibly even realize! If those women can revere husbands who cheat on them/are alcoholics/etc. why do we find it so hard just because our hubby had a “jerk moment” and snapped at us or the kids today? It’s good to look at stories like those so we can see just how blessed we really ARE by the amazing men we have in our lives. Yes they’re flawed–but look in the mirror lady! So are you!
This week focus in on the wonderful qualities your hubby has and be sure to mention a few to him!!! You just might be amazed at the results!!
(Oh, and this Thursday I’ll be celebrating 5 wonderful years of being a Help Meet! Yey!!!)