Although I’m still as much of an avid book lover and reader as ever, you’ve probably noticed my book reviews on here have become few and far between. That’s because in my quest for Wait this year I decided to step back from a few of the things that, while I loved, weren’t what I needed to be focused on doing right now.
When I saw the title of Kay Wills Wyma new book (available to purchase today!!), however, I knew it was one that I HAD to read, and figured it was one most of my readers would, too, so I said “yes, please!! send me one!”
I’m Happy For You. Sort Of….Not Really. Delves into the world in which we live where it’s easier than ever to compare each and ever facet of our lives to those around us–now the neighbors grass is not only greener you can also compare your cabinets, social lives, and vacations thanks to social media. Although I didn’t realize it at first, I have really struggled with the jealousy and bitterness that comparison brings, and only within the last few years have had my eyes opened to how hurtful and damaging it really is!
I’m Happy For You assured me that I am not alone in struggling with this.
Paul Angone….calls comparison “the smallpox of our [the Millennial] generation” What’s Obsessive Comparison Disorder, you ask? It’s the new OCD I’ve coined to describe our compulsion to constantly compare ourselves with others, producing unwanted thoughts and feelings that drive us into depression, consumption, anxiety, and all-around discontent.”
Kay talks about how prevalent it also is in the parenting world–we’ve all seen those hot button Mommy issues, from working to feeding, but what they all really boil down to is comparison and Kay breaks it down into easy to understand pieces, helping delve behind the scenes of the Mommy wars and pulling out the comparison monster and calling it for what really is going on.
One of my favorite parts of the book is when she talks about “The Glimpse”. How we see one, tiny, great (or maybe even not so great) part of someone else’s life and that’s all we can hyper focus on and compare how what they have and who they are and all they do is so much more than/less than ____ for us/than us. What we always forget, however, is that we are seeing one tiny snapshot of their current life, and we have no idea what else is going on behind the scenes.
What we see is often just a snapshot. Mistaking the Glimpse for reality generally leads us to either judge or covet. We land either on the feeling-Less-Than, wishing-it-were-me side of the scale or on the feeling-Better-Than-side. Neither of which is beneficial for anyone involved.
SO true! I also love how honest Kay is throughout the whole book, spilling her heart about the times she and her children have blown it, and the practical, simple, but hard ways they have all worked towards truly being happy for others, and themselves, rather than allowing comparison to run its ugly course.
Throughout the book she also includes many great quotes–one of my favorites is
This is one of the main reasons we struggle with insecurity: we’re comparing our behind-the-scenes with everybody else’s highlight reel. — Steve Furtick
The whole book is full of great truth, good ideas, and easy to relate to stories. Some of the things she has tried and worked are ones that I have discovered over the past few years, as well, but the reminder to be ever on guard with something that is so easy to slip into every day was wonderful, as was knowing that I’m not alone.
If you are someone who struggles with comparison (and if you’re not–well then you might just keep track for a bit, you might be surprised!) I’d highly recommend this book–you can purchase I’m Happy For You. Sort of….Not Really today starting for just $7.99!