Are you "his wife" or "this kiddos mom"?

To Love, Honor, and Vacuum is quickly becoming one of my new favorite blogs. In fact–I was so impressed that I wrote her an email asking her if I could “pretty please with a cherry on top” review her new book. (This all while I’ve been turning down other book pitches because my stack to read it reaching precariously high on my dresser).

Today in her Wifey Wednesdays post she posed the question–are you a better wife or mother?

I think that her post hit several amazing points so be sure to go read it!

As I’ve mentioned before the only thing I ever wanted to *really* be when I grew up was a stay at home mom. I always knew that was what I had a heart and joy for. The day after I found out that I was pregnant with Amber (although we’d been married a little over 2 years at the time she was a surprise!) Hubby and I headed to the beach. We lay on the warm North Carolina beach, held hands, gazed up at the sky over the glistening waves and marveled at the fact that life, our child, was now growing within me. We were suddenly parents, a family! At just 21 and 22 years old the weight and wonder of this swelled and overcame us with joy and anxiety.

As we lay there hubby turned and looked at me and said, “I’m excited. So excited. I’m just a little sad though.”

“Why would you be sad????” I questioned.

“Because I’m no longer the number one in your heart.” He replied.

I looked and him long and hard in the eyes and told him, from my very heart, “No, NO. I already love this baby with all that is in me and an amazing, incredible love. But you will ALWAYS be the number one in my heart.”

If you notice my blog’s name–I have Coastie Wife as the name–and I chose that name after both my precious kiddos were born. Though I love and thrive on being a mommy I have always worked hard towards being first and fore most knows as HIS wife, not Amber and Tyler’s Mom.

It’s hard to be a wife first. When kiddos whine for attention and dishes pile and books to review stack, and emails flood it’s hard for me to take a few hours when I could be “accomplishing things” and instead sit and talk, flirt, and play World of Warcraft with hubby. But that’s exactly what I did a few days ago. Because when Tyler’s napping it’s important for me to tell Amber that when Daddy is home he wants Mommy to play with him, and I can play with her later. I want my kids to see us talking, laughing, sharing,  poking each other. I want them to be in marriages someday like ours–

Perfect? Absolutely not! Easy? You must be kidding! Disagreement free? Of course not.

But rich, wonderful, deep, sustaining, fun, and adventurous? Yes, for sure!