When I got married I wanted so much to be a godly and great wife to my hubby! What I didn’t realize was that sometimes my female brain with its ways of thinking and showing my love to him and his male brain and the way it is wired meant that sometimes there were things that I was doing, or not doing, that were causing problems I didn’t even realize were there!
Thankfully through several different women giving me books and recommending blogs I caught on early on into our marriage (probably 2 1/2 years) that there were several areas that needed work! I am so thankful that I was able to be enlightened to these things early on–and wish I had known sooner!!!! So now for every bridal shower that I attend my gift is three books: For Women Only by Shaunti Feldhahn; A Good Girls Guide to Great Sex by Shelia Wray Gregoire; and Created to Be His Helpmeet. I include a letter with the books explaining why and how each has shaped and changed my marriage for the better.
I first read For Women Only a few years after it was released in . A friend had actually given my Mom a copy and I read through it during one of my trips back home as we were talking about marriage and marriage books. There were so many “light bulb” moments I had from it! I went back home (I was on the trip home by myself) and after a few days my hubby remarked “I guess I should send you back home alone more often, you always come back more awesome than ever–what on earth is going on??!!” (it happens that a previous trip back home was when I was first introduced to Created To Be His Helpmeet as well–both me and my hubby are super thankful to the ladies back home, haha).
So when I saw that For Women Only, Revised and Updated Edition: What You Need to Know About the Inner Lives of Men was coming out I couldn’t wait to get a copy of it! As I re-read it I was struck again by many of the things that made me have “lightbulbs” the first time, and had other things make me go, “Oh!” that didn’t the first time-as with every marriage your husbands needs and your situation in life are constantly changing.
I loved the all-new chapter “The Thinker” One thing that has always baffled me to no end–and frustrated my husband to no end–is when we get into an in-depth discussion, especially when we have a difference of opinion, and I thoroughly and (in my mind) efficiently put forth my case and he just sits there and says nothing and when I really press him he says something along the lines of “I can’t explain it right now but that’s not what I think should/want to happen.” This chapter made several light bulbs go off as to this whole dynamic and why it does *not* work–and what I can begin to do instead!
One chapter that really made a huge difference the first time I read this book was the one on the importance of staying fit/taking care of the way you look. After we first got married I (unknowingly) put on about 30 pounds (if you’ve followed my slim and trim quest you already know about this). I read this book right around the time that I had realized that I had gone up so much in weight and it really smacked me at how unhappy Bob probably was about it but, like all good hubbies, he had never said a word! Sure enough now that I’m actively working out and trying my best to take care of the way I look, even post-two kids, he’s (very gingerly, when I brought it up) mentioned how hard that was on him!
This book really is everything your husband wishes you knew about him–but would die before telling you himself, or simply doesn’t “get” that you don’t “get”! As I said–this is one of only three books I’d call absolutely MUST HAVE marriage books! It’s a short, easy read but wow, what an amazing little book it is!
With over 2 million copies sold there are plenty of opinions other than mine! Hop on over to Amazon and read the rest of the reviews!